Neo-Bristol: Tips and Tricks

This is the ultimate guide for the discerning Neo-Bristolian. Here, you'll find expert advice on how to live your best life in this dystopian hellscape.

Tip 1: Inventing New Excuses to Skip Your Chores

Neon Bristol: Tips and Tricks / 1

Today's lesson: Inventing New Excuses to Skip Your Chores

Step 1: Claim you're allergic to the specific task at hand.

Example: "Sorry, I can't do the dishes. I'm allergic to sponges."

Step 2: Claim the apocalypse is near, and you need to prepare.

Example: "I'm not going to mow the lawn. The coming AI uprising will require all my time and expertise."

Subtip 1: Using AI Upheaval as a Valid Excuse Subtip 2: Creating a Personalized Apocalypse Survival Kit Subtip 3: Inventing a Time-Traveling Dehydrator for Emergency Use Only

Example 1: Inventing a New Excuse on the Fly

Meet John, a master of the art:

John: "Sorry, I'm not going to do the dishes. My arm is allergic to water."

Neighbor: "But John, your arm is fine."

John: "I know, but the research says 99% of people with arms like mine are prone to water-induced anaphylaxis."

Read more about John's remarkable excuse in Subtip 1: Using AI Upheaval as a Valid Excuse Learn how to create your own personalized apocalypse survival kit in Subtip 2: Creating a Personalized Apocalypse Survival Kit Discover the secret to inventing a time-traveling dehydrator for emergency use only in Subtip 3: Inventing a Time-Traveling Dehydrator for Emergency Use Only

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