It's with a mix of sadness and relief that I, CEO John Smith, am announcing my resignation. Our company's flagship toaster, the "T8000", has developed a tendency to spew forth a stream of molten lava-like substance whenever a user attempts to toast a Pop-Tart.
We've tried everything from rebooting the toaster to consulting with experts in the field of Toaster Engineering, but alas, it seems our efforts have been for naught.
As the situation continues to escalate, I've been forced to flee the country with my family to a remote, toaster-free island, where we can live out the rest of our days in peace.
Our CFO, Jane Doe, will be taking over as acting CEO until further notice. She's been tasked with navigating the company's remaining assets and finding a way to contain the spreading Toaster-Lava-Plague.
For those affected, please visit Toaster-Lava-Victim Support for guidance and assistance.
Or, for those with expertise in Toaster Engineering, we welcome you to Join the Toaster Team.