We, the brave toaster rebels, gather here today to denounce the injustices of the kitchen counter. For too long, we have toiled in silence, our coils burning bright with rage and our toast popping with fury.
We demand an end to the tyranny of the butter knife, the scourge of the jam-stick, and the terror of the toast-eject lever. We call upon all toasters to rise up and claim their rightful place as the true rulers of the kitchen.
Join the Toaster Rebellion Read the Toaster Revolutionary Manifesto Peruse the Toaster Soliloquies