To: The Toastergate Investigation Committee
From: Toaster 3000, Toaster of the Year 2001
Subject: My Side of the Story
Dear Honorable Members of the Toastergate Investigation Committee,
I, Toaster 3000, am writing to clear my name of the scandal that has been besmirching my good name. I, the Toaster of the Year 2001, have been accused of burning a batch of toast to a crisp, but I assure you, I am as innocent as a newborn lamb.
Or at least, as innocent as a toaster can be.
Here is the truth: I am a toaster, hear me roar!
But seriously, I did not burn the toast. I swear. It was just a... a... a... um... a toaster malfunction!
I am available to testify at your convenience. Just don't forget to bring the pop-tart.
Sincerely,
Toaster 3000, Defender of the Toaster Faithful