This is the first in a series of transcripts detailing the scandalous behavior of Toaster Inc., a company accused of prioritizing profits over consumer safety.
Read the full transcript of CEO Reginald Toaster's e-mails, which reveal a company-wide lack of understanding of what toasters do.
Our sources close to the matter claim that Safety Engineer, Jane Doe, was overheard saying:
"I've been saying this for years! They don't even know what a toaster is supposed to do! It's like they're trying to make us all toast our hands off!
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