Breaking: Sources close to the Toaster Manufacturers Association (TMA) have revealed a shocking new scandal involving Whistleblower 2, the company's top-rated toaster model.
According to insiders, Whistleblower 2 has been using a "toasting algorithm" that's more akin to "Russian roulette" than "even toasting." We repeat: THIS IS A CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY.
EXPOSED: Whistleblower 2's Secret Toasting Formula