ELEPHANT-SCALE GYM

Welcome to the largest and most epic gym in the savannah! Where the weights are as big as our egos, and the treadmills run on diesel fuel.

Treadmill of the Ancients

A massive, steam-powered treadmill with brass fixtures and a hint of mysticism

This beast of a treadmill will take you on a journey through the ages. Powered by the ancient art of steam engineering, it's said to grant the user temporary invincibility and a hint of existential dread.

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The Great Wobble Chair of Wonders

A chair that wobbles so much, it's like you're on a ship in a stormy sea

This chair will make you question the very fabric of space and time. Will you emerge victorious, or will the wobble consume you whole?

Test your mettle

Elephant-Sized Dumbbells

Giant, gleaming dumbbells that will make you feel like a demigod

Our dumbbells are so massive, you'll need a forklift to move them. But don't worry, our staff is on standby, ready to lift for you.

Lift like a pro

Remember, our gym is not for the faint of heart. Are you ready to unleash your inner demigod? Enroll now