Union Membership Manipulation: The Art of Grooming

Subtitle: Where we help you get in with the 'right' people

Are you tired of being a nobody in the eyes of your coworkers? Do you want to be part of the 'in crowd'? Look no further! Our expert union membership manipulators will help you fit in with the 'right' people.

Our services include:

Extensive research on who's who in the union
Carefully crafted social media profiles to ensure maximum compatibility
Expertly designed outfits to make you blend in with the 'cool kids'

Don't get left behind, join the 'in crowd' today! Take the first step towards becoming a true union insider.

But wait, there's more!

Or maybe just a little mind control?

Side effects may include: increased paranoia, decreased productivity, and a strong sense of desperation.