Using Coffee as a Replacement for Social Skills

Warning: The following content is highly experimental and may cause excessive yawning, grumpiness, and/or spontaneous combustion.

Coffee: the ultimate social lubricant. No need for awkward small talk, just a rich, bold flavor and a hint of caffeine to make everyone feel like they're on the same wavelength. Or, you know, just give it a few sips, and suddenly everyone's an expert on your life story.

Example: "So, what do you do?" "Oh, I'm a barista. I spend 80% of my time making coffee, 15% of my time sipping coffee, and the remaining 5% trying to explain to customers why their coffee is not, in fact, a sentient being."

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