WELCOME TO THE DUNGEON OF DOOM

Warehouse Safety Guidelines

**Disclaimer:** You have been warned. This warehouse is a ticking time bomb of hazards and bureaucratic red tape. Prolonged exposure to the following guidelines may cause:
Whistleblowing the Odds,
Accidental Maiming 101,
Union Busting Techniques

**Safety Rules:

1. Do not touch any shiny object that is not explicitly labeled "Not Shiny"
2. Do not eat any food item that has been left on the floor for more than 30 minutes
3. Do not engage in any activity that may be perceived as "whistling while you work"

**Emergency Protocols:** What to do in case of Spontaneous Combustion
Evacuation Routes
Emergency Snack Provisions