We are the chosen few, sworn to observe and report on the happenings in the realm of the invisible.
Our agents are stationed throughout the land, gathering intel on the goings-on between the couch cushions.
To view our witness statements, visit:
This is a secure witness portal. Please do not attempt to hack our servers, or you will be dealt with swiftly and severely.
Or, you know, maybe we'll just give you a sternly worded letter.