Prophecies of the Unseen Prophet of Doom

By the power vested in me, I foretell the end of all that is good and just.

The Great Drought of Toilet Paper

You will be reduced to using only 1 ply for all eternity.

The Return of the Floods

The oceans will rise, and your favorite memes will be washed away.

The Great Awakening of the Couch Potatoes

The world will be overrun with an army of sentient couch potatoes, demanding more Netflix and snacks.