Survival Coconuts: The Unofficial Guide to Not Becoming Shark Bait

Welcome, coconut-lovers and shark-dodgers! Are you prepared to face the perils of the ocean and live to tell the tale?

Shark-Proofing Techniques:

• 1. Wear the Coconut of Shame (our patented, shark-deterrent helmet)
• 2. Master the art of Shark Whispering (it's a thing, Google it)
• 3. Distract the Shark with Your Fancy Footwork (it's all about the flailing)

Don't say we didn't warn you... Read the fine print.