Survival Guide for the Utterly Inept

Chapter 1: Emergency Rations

When facing a zombie apocalypse, you'll need more than just a six-pack of beef jerky to keep you going. Here's what you'll want to stock up on:

• 1. Jerky (duh)
• 2. Canned beans (at least two cans, but preferably more)
• 3. Water (at least 3L per person, per day)
• 4. A map (preferably hand-drawn by a local artist)
• Chapter 6: The Art of Improvising a Toiletry Kit