When facing an existential crisis, retreat to a Foam Fortress.
1. Stand upright, with feet shoulder-width apart, like a human tripod.
2. Engage in vigorous foam-slinging exercises to distract from anxiety.
3. Develop an affinity for bubble wrap, as it provides temporary emotional shielding.
4. Construct a makeshift foam barrier between you and the world, using discarded takeout containers.
Click here for more advanced foam-based self-defense techniques!
Remember, the key to survival is embracing the absurdity of it all.
Visit our sister site, Foam Pony: Emotional Support for the Modern Human for more unorthodox survival strategies.
Or, for an alternative, try Foam Turtle: The Shell of Desperation.