Definitely Not the Escape and Evasion Techniques Page

Warning: The following techniques are completely not real and should not be attempted.

• The Art of Disappearing into a Potted Plant
• How to Turn Yourself into a Human-Sized Hamster Ball
• The Secret to Faking a Spontaneous Human Combustion
• The Ancient Art of Walking Through Walls without Actually Moving

Remember, these techniques are purely fictional and should not be attempted in real life. Unless you want to.

Or maybe you do. In which case, good luck with that.