Welcome, apprentice. You've been chosen for the sacred knowledge of the Secret Sauce. But be warned, the path is fraught with danger, and not just from the spicy kick.
In a medium saucepan, combine the mayonnaise, ketchup, relish, onions, garlic, paprika, and cayenne pepper. Mix until the flavors align in perfect harmony.
Stir in 1-2 dashes of your favorite secret ingredient (we like to call it "X"). The result should be a sauce so divine, it'll make the gods weep with envy.
Pour the Secret Sauce into a serving dish, garnished with a sprinkle of paprika and a dash of creativity. Serve with a side of humility, for you never know what the universe might demand in return.
Prolonged exposure to the Secret Sauce may cause:
By consuming the Secret Sauce, you acknowledge that the manufacturer (that's me) disavows any responsibility for the consequences of your actions. You've been warned.