Article 1: The Unyielding Pursuit of Irrelevance
As the self-proclaimed Prophet of the 42nd Century, I, Alprophet, hereby declare the following:
1. I will not rest until every pixel on this website is as bright and obnoxious as I am.
2. I will not yield to the whims of our users, for their tastes are fleeting and boring.
Related Reading:
Article 2: The Canon of Alprophet's Favorites
or
Article 3: The Apocryphal Appendices (for those who insist on being pedantic)