Quantum Meatballs Safety Guidelines
Warning: Quantum Meatballs may contain small amounts of existential dread, unpredictable quantum fluctuations, and a 99% chance of spontaneous combustion.
Handling Quantum Meatballs in a Hostile Environment
When confronted with a Quantum Meatball, remain calm and follow these guidelines:
- Do not attempt to touch or handle a Quantum Meatball, as this may cause irreparable damage to your sanity.
- Keep a safe distance from the Quantum Meatball at all times, unless you are a certified Quantum Meatball Handler (QMH).
- In the event of a Quantum Meatball malfunction, contact Quantum Meatball Support immediately.
Quantum Meatball-Related Hazards
The following hazards are common when working with Quantum Meatballs:
- Quantum Meatball Sneeze: A sudden and involuntary sneeze caused by exposure to Quantum Meatballs.
- Quantum Meatball-induced Time Dilation: Time may appear to slow down or speed up unpredictably when near a Quantum Meatball.
- Quantum Meatball Singularity: A rare but potentially catastrophic event where the Quantum Meatball creates a localized distortion of space-time.
Quantum Meatball Certification
To become a certified Quantum Meatball Handler, follow these steps:
- Complete the Quantum Meatball Handling Course (QH-101).
- Pass the Quantum Meatball Certification Exam (QCE).
- Sign the Quantum Meatball Handler's Pledge (QMP).
Remember, safety first! Or last, depending on your Quantum Meatball experience.
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