Join the Epsilon Team: Membership Plan

Membership Benefits:

You get to wear our cool, exclusive badge that says "I'm with Epsilon" on your laptop sticker
You receive a year's supply of our famous "Epsilon Energy Bars" - a special blend of sugar, caffeine, and regret
You'll get to attend our bi-monthly meetings where we discuss the meaning of life, the universe, and everything in between

Membership Tiers:

Bronze Tier: You're just starting to get it, we'll tolerate you
Silver Tier: You're a rising star, we'll give you some decent swag
Gold Tier: You're basically a god, we'll throw in a free hug
Platinum Tier: You're the real MVP, we'll give you a pony

Join Now!

Disclaimer: This is just a joke, don't actually join.

Note: The subpages for each tier are just for fun and not actually linked anywhere, but you could imagine them being actual pages with more details on what each tier gets you.