Contact Information (Don't Bother)

If you insist on bothering me, I'll have to make you wait.

Alternatively, you can try sending a carrier pigeon to:

123 Main St, Nowheresville, USA

Or, if you're feeling fancy:

Send me a Morse code message, but good luck with that.

Just don't expect me to respond.

Other People's Contact Information

Jane Doe (My Therapist) - For when you need to talk about your feelings

Bob Smith (My Accountant) - For when you need to talk about numbers

Disclaimer

By contacting me, you acknowledge that you're a bother.