Feline Empire Agenda: Mittens for President
Subverting the Status Quo, One Whisker at a Time
As the leader of the Feline Empire, Mittens for President has a clear vision for the future: more catnip, less laundry, and a mandatory belly rub quota of 3.5 times per day.
Our agenda includes:
- Immediate implementation of a nationwide cat cafe system
- Mandatory cat grooming sessions for all citizens
- A 30% increase in cat food subsidies
- Establishment of a Feline Space Agency for the exploration of catnip-rich asteroids