Project Coffee Machine Attempt 7: A Study in Caffeine Futility

Project Overview: We're at it again! Attempt 7 of the fabled Coffee Machine, designed to revolutionize the art of coffee production and make the world a more caffeinated, yet slightly more chaotic place.

Key Features: This behemoth of a machine boasts the following innovations:

• A built-in espresso roast-o-matic
• Advanced cream-whipping vortex system
• Integrated coffee-bean-to-cup teleportation chamber

Results: Unfortunately, our testing team reported the following:

• Excessive coffee production led to a 3-month supply of free coffee
• Uncontrollable cream vortex caused significant damage to surrounding lab equipment
• Bean teleportation resulted in a 4:30 am phone call from our landlord

See Project Failures

Next up: Project Coffee Machine Attempt 8, where we've swapped the teleportation chamber for a good old-fashioned coffee grinder. Wish us luck!