Beer Fu: Steve's Techniques

Steve's 7 Deadly Sins of Beer Fu

• The 5th Sin: Using a Beer Cozy as a makeshift Beer Pong Paddle
• The 2nd Sin: Trusting the Fridge to keep the Beer at a Consistent Temperature
• The 3rd Sin: Believing a Cold Beer is a Good Beer
• The 1st Sin: Using a Pilsner as a Breakfast Beer
• The 7th Sin: Not Having a Beer Fridge Detergent
• The 4th Sin: Drinking a Beer while Riding a Horse (Not a Tricycle)
• The 6th Sin: Thinking a Beer is a Good Idea for Breakfast

Steve's Beer Fu Training Regimen

1. Drink 12 beers a day for 30 days straight
2. Practice the ancient art of Beer Fu in front of a mirror
3. Learn to open 3 beers with one hand while reciting the Beer Fu mantra: 'Brews are like hugs, but with less cuddles'
4. Compete in the Beer Fu championships, where the winner gets to keep the coveted 'Golden Pint'

Steve's Beer Fu Glossary

Beer Fu

A martial art that uses beer to achieve enlightenment

Champagne Fu

A variation of Beer Fu that uses sparkling wine, but only for special occasions, like weddings and New Year's Eve

Meat Fu

A martial art that uses meat to achieve enlightenment, but only for carnivores