Team Penalties: Because Who Needs Morale, Anyway?

A Division of the Incompetent, Where Dreams Come to Die

We're not just a team, we're a... well, we're not even a team. But we have a nice office, with fluorescent lights and a vending machine that only dispenses expired granola bars!

Subordinate 1: Bob

Bob is our lead janitor. He's been here for 5 years and still can't figure out how to turn on the copier.

Subordinate 2: John

Subordinate 2: John

John is our resident expert on the art of doing nothing. He can spend hours staring at a single spreadsheet and still manage to get nothing done.

Subordinate 3: Jane

Subordinate 3: Jane

Jane is our team's resident expert on the art of making passive-aggressive eye contact. She can give you the stink-eye from 50 feet away.

Subordinate 4: Steve

Subordinate 4: Steve

Steve is our team's resident expert on the art of taking 3-hour lunches. He can eat an entire pizza by himself and still manage to get back to work in time for his 3pm meeting.

Subordinate 5: The Mystery Subordinate