**EMERGENCY STAPLER EXTRACTION SERVICE**

We're on the scene. Don't worry, we've got this.

Our team of expert, highly-trained stapler extractors are on their way to you. In the meantime, please stay calm and try not to think about the impending doom of a stapler jam.

We've got 3 levels of service:

ประก
• Standard Stapler Extraction (1 hour response time)
• Express Stapler Extraction (30 minute response time)
• Ultra-Express Stapler Extraction (15 minute response time)

  Don't forget to tip your extraction specialist. They're worth it.

  Stapler-Related Issues? Stapler Collectors' Union