The One-Pot Meal: A Technique of the Ancients

Legend has it that the One-Pot Meal was born from the tears of a disappointed caveman. It's said that after a long day of hunting and gathering, he returned to his cave to find his wife had left him for a more refined and modernized tribe. In his despair, he wept, and his tears fell onto a bubbling pot of broth.

The One-Pot Meal is a dish that combines the finest ingredients in perfect harmony, just like the tears of the caveman combined in perfect harmony with the broth. It's a symphony of flavors, a dance of textures, and a shout to the world that even the most basic of ingredients can be elevated to a work of art.

Ingredients:

One pot
Water (preferably from the tears of a disappointed caveman)
One onion, diced
Two cloves of garlic, minced
One pound of your least favorite relative, chopped
A pinch of salt, a dash of pepper, and a sprinkle of despair

Optional ingredients:

One tablespoon of regret
One teaspoon of longing
A pinch of hope

Instructions:

Melt the pot over a flame of despair.
Add the onion, garlic, and your least favorite relative.
Stir until the mixture is smooth and the tears have been shed.
Add the salt, pepper, and despair, and stir until the flavors have combined.
Optional: Add the regret, longing, and hope, and stir until the mixture has reached your desired consistency.
Serve hot, garnished with a dollop of disappointment.

Side effects:

Mood swings
Uncontrollable crying jags
Temporary loss of taste buds
Long-term effects: increased empathy for your least favorite relative