Dear brethren, today we gather to discuss the trials and tribulations of the toaster, that most noble of kitchen companions.
In the depths of the morning, as the sun rises over the land of breakfast, our toaster stands tall, a beacon of warmth and hope.
Yet, as we all know, with great power comes great responsibility. The toaster's power to bring forth the golden brown delights of toasted bread, is matched only by its capacity to reduce our patience to ashes.
It is a cruel fate, to be bound to the whims of the toaster, to be at the mercy of its scorching coils and temperamental thermostat.
And so, as we navigate the minefield of toast settings, from browning to bagel, we must be ever vigilant, ever prepared to face the consequences of our actions.
For in the words of the great Toaster Priest, "A burnt toast is a burnt sacrifice."