Bob from IT was a no-show at the last meeting of the "Slightly Above Average" sales team. His excuse? "I was busy setting up my new desk in the conference room." We were told it was just a standard cubicle, but we all know the truth: Bob has a secret love for interior design.
According to sources close to the team, Bob was seen browsing IKEA catalogues during the meeting, and his "new desk" was actually just a $2000 Herman Miller chair. When asked about his absence, Bob said, "I'm not here to make friends, I'm here to optimize the office layout."
When reached for comment, Bob said, "I'm just trying to create a more open and collaborative work environment... with more black and silver accents." We have reason to believe he's just trying to get free coffee cups.