Mandate 1: Wear Pants

As of Tuesday, March 1st, 2023, it is hereby decreed that all citizens shall don pants at all times.

Failure to comply will result in severe consequences, including but not limited to:

• Forfeiture of all snacks and treats for the remainder of the week
• Revocation of all weekend privileges
• Forced viewing of reruns of The Great British Baking Show

Exceptions to this mandate include, but are not limited to:

• Wearing pants while engaging in extreme sports, such as rock climbing, extreme ironing, or competitive eating
• Participation in official ceremonial events, such as weddings or funerals
• Engaging in activities that require specialized clothing, such as ballet or fencing

Learn more about Mandate 2: Wear Shoes or Mandate 3: Use Correct Grammar.