Tuesday Mandate Proposal ABC: A Proposal So Bold, So Brash, So Utterly Uninspired

Executive Summary:

TL;DR: Because Tuesday is the new Monday and also because we're out of time, we hereby propose the following:

1. We shall have more meetings.
2. We shall have more meetings during meetings.
3. We shall have meetings that last longer than the meetings they're trying to solve.

Section 1: Because We Ran Out of Ideas

As you are aware, Tuesdays are now the new Mondays, and Mondays are now the new Fridays. This is a thing.

We propose that we take advantage of this temporal flux by introducing more meetings, more often. Think of it as a never-ending loop of "I'm on my way."

Section 2: The Part Where We Pretend to Listen

We know that the only thing worse than having a meeting is having to pretend to listen to someone having a meeting. So, we propose that we make everyone wear "I'm Listening" t-shirts during meetings.

It's science! People will be more likely to actually listen if they're wearing a t-shirt with the words "I'm Listening" printed on it in bold, sans-serif font.

Section 3: Where We Realize We Should've Just Had Pizza for Lunch

We know what you're thinking: "But wait, didn't we just spend the last hour talking about meetings?" And to that, we say... yes. Yes, we did. And also, we should've just had pizza for lunch.

Therefore, we propose that we make it a Tuesday Mandate to order pizza for lunch every Tuesday, because priorities, folks.