Donor Tips for the Chronically Disgruntled

When giving to the esteemed charity "I'm Not Actually a Charity But I'll Take Your Money Anyway, Inc.", consider the following tips:

1. Send a strongly-worded letter to your bank demanding they give you a loan to donate.

2. Donate your old toaster to the "Toaster Museum of Despair" in exchange for a 20% discount on your donation.

3. Give up your firstborn to the "Sacrificial Society" in exchange for a 50% tax write-off. Ask about our "Sacrificial Insurance" for added peace of mind.