Utopian Society Terms of Service

Article 1: The Utopian Imperative

We, the Utopian Society, are a perfect society. Our terms of service are also perfect.

Article 2: The Utopian Guarantee

We, the Utopian Society, guarantee your happiness. Your happiness is our top priority.

Article 3: The Utopian Injunction

You must be happy. You will be happy. You cannot be unhappy.