The Sanctuary of the Break Room

Welcome, fellow utopians, to this sanctuary for the most productive members of society. Here, you can take a break from the stresses of your high-octane, über-competent lives and indulge in some well-deserved R&R.

• Take a break from reality in our Quantum Entertainment Lounge and play some high-stakes, reality-altering games of quantum chance.
• Or, if you're feeling particularly virtuous, take advantage of our Virtue Vending Machine and purchase a can of "I'm-a-Perfect" canned goods.
• And, of course, no visit would be complete without a stop at our Therapy Tent where our expert team of certified, over-caffeinated shrinks will help you work through those pesky existential dread.