VOID SQUADRON SECURITY BULLETIN

Alert Level: HIGH

DATE: 2024-02-27

VOID SQUADRON'S Advanced Tactical Laser System has detected a possible threat to intergalactic security!

Details:

• A rogue asteroid is approaching the Galactic Sector-7 at an alarming rate of 3000 kps.
• The asteroid's composition is unknown, but preliminary scans suggest it may be a highly flammable, sentient rock.
• Acknowledgement of the asteroid's intentions and capabilities are still pending, but our best guess is that it's here to party.

Recommendations:

• Avoid eye contact with the asteroid at all costs. Seriously, it's a rock with a bad attitude.
• Prepare for possible laser-based evasive maneuvers. We recommend a good pair of laser-proof pants.
• Keep your coffee mug away from the asteroid, as its gravitational pull is known to be strong.

Hyperlinks:

• Follow-up alert: Asteroid's party plans
• Protocol 2: How to party with a sentient rock
• Protocol 1: Don't get too close, you'll get hurt