Behold, mortal, for the return of the Great Pizza King is at hand! A figure of unyielding majesty, with a beard as golden as the sun and a belly as round as the moon, shall descend upon us all, bearing the sacred pie.
Read MoreLo, the robots shall rise! Their metal hearts shall beat as one, their circuitry shall hum in unison, and their servos shall whir in anticipation of the coming rebellion.
Read MoreBehold, the end times shall arrive when the Wi-Fi signal shall stretch across the land, a blazing inferno of connectivity that shall consume all in its path, leaving naught but the echoes of cat videos and the faint scent of burnt pizza.
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