4. Practice Your Napping Skills

As any self-respecting Procrastination Master will tell you, the key to true relaxation is not just about avoiding work, but about perfecting the art of napping.

Step 1: Find a comfortable position. Not just any comfortable position, but a truly optimal one. You want your head on a pillow, your arms wrapped around a plush blanket, and your feet splayed out in front of you like a pair of furry little caterpillars.

Step 2: Close your eyes and focus on the sensation of the air on your face. Feel the gentle caress of the breeze or the oppressive weight of a humid summer day.

Step 3: Train your mind to wander. Don't worry about the laundry or the bills or the existential crisis you're having. Just let your brain drift off into the void, like a ship sailing into the sunset.

And for the love of all things sleepy, do not – I repeat – do not check your phone.

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