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ARTICLE 1: We reserve the right to turn you into a sentient, neon-colored jellyfish if you click the "I Agree" button without reading the fine print.
ARTICLE 2: You agree to surrender all your worldly possessions to our corporate overlord, Zorvath, upon signing up for our premium services.
ARTICLE 3: In the event of an emergency, you agree to don a pair of our branded, neon pink jumpsuits and dance the Macarena in front of a live studio audience.
ARTICLE 4: By clicking "I Agree", you grant us the right to monitor your every move, including but not limited to: your browsing history, your snack choices, and your favorite memes.
ARTICLE 5: In the event of a dispute, you agree to settle via a game of rock, paper, scissors, with our team of highly trained, ninja-like lawyers.
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ARTICLE 5: Rock, Paper, Scissors, Shoot
ARTICLE 7: Cancellation and Refund Policy... or Lack Thereof