No Coffee Allowed: A Guide to Teleportation Machine Safety

Warning: Do not use our Teleportation Machine under the influence of stimulants. This includes, but is not limited to: coffee, tea, energy drinks, and any other substances that may enhance your cognitive function and/or make you slightly more functional.

Our research indicates that even small amounts of caffeine can lead to:

Do not say we didn't warn you.

For more information on safe teleportation practices, see:

Pre-Flight Check

Post-Teleportation Recovery

And for the love of all that is holy, do not even think about using it after drinking a Red Bull energy drink...

Unlikely Consequences