Prophet's 2024 Forecast: The Year of Unrelenting Discontent

By order of the Great and Powerful Prophet, I present to you the most accurate predictions for the year 2024:

January 1, 2024: The world will run out of avocado toast, causing widespread panic and rioting.
February 14, 2024: Valentine's Day will be cancelled due to a global shortage of flowers, chocolates, and decent Wi-Fi.
March 20, 2024: The moon will turn bright pink due to an unexpected alignment of celestial bodies.
April 1, 2024: April Fools' Day will be replaced by April Pranks' Day, where the internet will be flooded with clever pranks and dad jokes.
May 1, 2024: The Great Sock Conspiracy will come to fruition, causing millions to wake up with matching socks.
June 21, 2024: Summer will be cancelled due to an unexpected invasion of polar bears.
July 4, 2024: The 4th of July will be replaced by the 4th of July-uary, where the only thing that will be celebrated is the freedom to eat all the ice cream.
August 15, 2024: A group of rogue accountants will take over the world, forcing everyone to do their taxes for them.
September 1, 2024: The school year will start on a Tuesday, and everyone will be confused.
October 31, 2024: Halloween will be replaced by Pumpkinpalooza, where everyone will be forced to wear pumpkin costumes.
November 11, 2024: Veterans Day will be replaced by Veterans' Day, where everyone will be forced to listen to veterans tell stories for 12 hours straight.
December 25, 2024: Christmas will be cancelled due to a global shortage of presents, trees, and eggnog.