Bob's Childhood: A Study in Mediocrity

It's a little-known fact that Bob's childhood was a series of unremarkable events, each one a crushing blow to his already-dim hopes.

The Early Years

At 5, Bob learned to tie his shoes, but only with a 50/50 chance of success. His parents beamed with pride, unaware of the existential dread it would sow.

• Sibling Rivalry
• Parental Doubt

The Middle Years

As Bob entered his pre-teen years, his interests narrowed to an unhealthy focus on the 'Epic' Games. His parents worried he'd never find true love in life, but Bob just shrugged and said 'dude.'

• Nerd Phase

The Late Years

At 25, Bob's life was a mess of unfulfilled dreams and half-hearted attempts at adulthood. He still lived in his parents' basement, eating Cheetos and playing 'Epic' Games until the wee hours.

• Basement Dwelling