Our service is a monthly delivery of rare, exotic, and potentially sentient items to your doorstep. Each month, you'll receive a new, mysterious item that will either make your life better or drive you mad.
We deliver a wide range of items, from cursed artifacts to sentient, talking furniture. Some examples include:
We take no responsibility for the safety or well-being of our subscribers. In fact, our terms of service explicitly state that you'll probably lose all sense of reason and purpose within 3-6 months of service.
But hey, at least you'll have a good story to tell.
Our services start at $50/month, plus shipping and handling. We also offer a discount for bulk subscriptions and a 'free' service for customers who sign up with a fake email address and a promise to send us their firstborn child.
Don't wait any longer! Sign up today and receive your first, potentially life-altering item in the mail.
Here's what our satisfied customers have said about us:
"I'm not sure what's more disturbing, the fact that I received a talking, self-balloon-ing shoe or the fact that I'm still paying for it." - John D.