Just spent all my money on a new bike and now I have to walk everywhere. Because, you know, walking is so last century.
Overpriced ThingsI love when people ask me to 'just use a napkin' to clean up spills. Like, no, I'm good.
Incredibly Basic SolutionsJust spent the entire day waiting for a 'raincheck' on my favorite video game. Now I can finally play it. On Tuesday.
TechnoJargonWhy do people always ask if I 'still have a pulse'? Like, I'm pretty sure I do.
Sarcastic PhrasesJust realized I've been eating the same lunch every day for a week. Time to spice up my life.
LunchGoalsWhy do people always say 'no offense' when they're about to offend me?
Polite OffenseWho needs a 'relaxing' vacation when you have a 3am Netflix binge fest?
Binge Watching TacticsWhen did 'artisanal' become a synonym for 'I charged you twice the price'?
Artisanal Scams