I mean, who needs actual powers when you can just say the most eye-rolling thing in a conversation and watch people crumble under the weight of your withering gaze?
Here are some advanced tactics to help you harness your sarcasm:
Give a backhanded compliment, like "You're not as ugly as I expected," and watch your opponent's face turn into a deep, soul-crushing well of despair.
Go from "Oh, great, another exciting thing to talk about" to "Ugh, can we talk about the weather?" in 2 seconds flat. Watch your friends' eyes glaze over as they try to keep up.
When someone tries to get you to commit to a plan, simply say, "Oh, I'm so sorry, I forgot to set my watch to 'I'll get around to it eventually' time." The looks on their faces are truly priceless.