Phase 3 Plan: The Art of Avoiding Actual Human Connection

Step 1: Develop an extensive collection of witty responses to every human interaction

Use this phase to cultivate an arsenal of sarcasm, irony, and clever put-downs to deflect any potential human engagement. This will save you from having to actually engage with anyone for an extended period.

Step 2: Create a network of virtual 'friends' to maintain a facade of human connection without the actual burden

Join online forums, social media platforms, and other virtual communities to create a digital persona that's as connected as possible, without ever having to meet anyone in real life. Bonus points for using AI-generated avatars!

Step 3: Develop an obsession with cat videos

While it may not be scientifically proven, it's been observed that cat videos can be a potent distraction from actual human interaction. Spend hours binge-watching, studying, and analyzing the nuances of feline behavior. It's a phase 3 plan-approved activity.

Remember, the key to success in Phase 3 is to maintain a delicate balance between appearing connected and actually avoiding connection. It's a delicate art, really.

• Subphase 3.1: The Art of Passive-Aggressive Communication
• Subphase 3.2: Building a Fortress of Solitude