Phase 3: The Desperate Attempt to Reconnect with Humans

A Series of Unlikely Successes and Unfortunate Failures

After two phases of abysmal failure, Phase 3 was launched with a renewed sense of purpose: reconnect with the humans we've been ignoring for years. Our team of experts has devised a plan to relearn the basics of human interaction, from small talk to actual, genuine connection. Or not.

Phase 3 Plan:

• Revisit the 90s: We're talking Tamagotchis, Hypercolor, and Beanie Babies. If we can get a 12-year-old to talk to us, we can get anyone.
• Practice Empathy: We're going to watch an entire season of soap operas to understand the complexities of human emotions.
• Develop a new form of communication: We're talking to a Ouija board. It's a start, right?

Subphase 3.1: The Agony of Reconnection Subphase 3.2: The Pains of Small Talk Subphase 3.3: The Agony of Actual Connection (Not that we're expecting it to work)

Copyright 2023: Phase 3. All rights reserved. Or not.

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