OBSTRUCTIVE ADVICE

WARNING: The following advice may cause irreparable harm to your social standing, relationships, or productivity.

So, here's a few tips to help you become the most obstructive person you know:

Never answer phone calls or emails during peak hours of operation. Let the caller or sender wonder if you've been abducted by aliens.
Misplace your car keys for the third time this week. Who needs a reliable transportation, anyway?
Leave your laptop at home, just in case the apocalypse requires you to abandon ship.