In a world where productivity is a myth perpetuated by sadists, it's essential to learn how to procrastinate like a pro. Our first technique, "Mastering the Art of Doing Nothing," involves setting a timer for 30 minutes and doing absolutely nothing productive during that time. When the timer dings, take a three-hour break to recharge your batteries.

Multitasking is not about doing multiple things simultaneously; it's about doing one thing poorly while thinking about something else. Our experts will guide you through the art of doing two or more tasks at once, ensuring that you'll never truly finish anything.

Learn how to use the ancient art of finding the perfect loophole in every rule. Our technique will teach you how to get things done without actually doing them, all while maintaining a sense of moral superiority over your colleagues.