Our Fees are Ridiculously High
Because we only work on problems that are so complex, so intricate, so utterly confounding, that they require our unique blend of expertise and whimsy. Don't bother trying to haggle. It's not worth your time.
Our consulting fees start at $1000 per hour, with discounts available for clients who can prove they've read this entire page without dozing off.
Don't even think about asking about our cancellation policy. We don't have one. You're stuck with us until we get bored or until you pay us off in full. Whichever comes first.