WHEREAS, the filing system has become a breeding ground for bureaucratic monsters;
NOW, THEREFORE, be it resolved that:
- We shall rename the "Lost and Found" to "Lost and Found: A Crypt of Forgotten Dreams."
- We shall establish a new " Department of Redundant Tasks" to oversee the redundant tasks of the filing system.
- We shall install a "Bureaucratic Obfuscation Generator" to confuse all who dare to navigate the filing system.
- We shall create a "Department of Self-Perpetuating Inefficiency" to ensure that the filing system shall never be efficient.
- We shall appoint a "Commissioner of Red Tape" to oversee the entire ordeal.
Adoption of this resolution shall be mandatory for all who seek to tame the beast that is the filing system.